Cloth Diapers

Anytime I am out and changing Jillian’s diaper, I always get the question, “what type of diapers are those?”

Then the follow up questions/comments:
Do you like them?
Are they easy to take care of?
Oh, I could never do cloth diapers

Believe it or not, I thought the same thing. In fact both of the boys grew up in disposables. So why did I switch to cloth when Jillian arrived?

I had started to order the boys diapers online about once a month and they arrived in a huge box. Then I would take the box of diapers out and then take the diapers out of that box. So, I had one huge box and then 2 box of diapers to throw away. Then every day I would fill up a garbage bag full of dirty diapers. Although our building does have a recycling program, I still felt guilty that trees had been destroyed for shipping/packing my diapers. Secondly, I was contributing to the landfill with all of those diapers. I just couldn’t bear to do it for another child.
So how did I come to choose the diapers I have?

I did a lot of research and asked around town.

First I tried the G diapers on her but she had such chubby legs that they just fit on the side and made marks on her leg. I also didn’t like the Velcro on her belly as well. That made marks because she had a very chubby belly. Also the G diapers come with a liner that is flushable/biodegradable but again, it is made up of paper and I was right back to my guilt feelings about killing trees.

Secondly, I tried the mothereas diapers. You placed an insert on the cloth diaper and then put on the waterproof cover. This was my real first experience with cloth diapers which made me a believer that cloth was the route I wanted to take. But I thought there were too many steps to take to diaper a child.
Thirdly, I was introduced to Fuzzi Bunz diapers via a great friend of mine, Audra. The perfect fit diapers are a pocket diaper. This revelation was so easy and nice. You just stick the insert into the pocket diaper and snap up the sides. When the diaper is soiled you place it in the bag/bucket of your choice. You then take them to the washing machine and wash/dry.

The caveat: You had to balance the number of diapers you have versus how many the child uses. Meaning: how many times do you want to wash and what kind of receptacle do you wish to hold the stinky diapers?

I was sold….Fuzzibunz were for our family.

Better news, Fuzzi bunz designed a new diaper…..one size diaper. Prior to this you had to buy S, M, or L diapers for each stage of your child’s growth. This equates to more money and quite possibly could cost you more than disposables. Now of course if you bought these for baby number 1 and then used them for subsequent babies then you definitely will save tons more than disposables. But for me who has decided to use them on baby #3 instead of 1 or 2, it wouldn’t be worth it.

The one size diapers are incredible! The same concept of adjustable waist clothes are for kids, they’ve taken that idea and used them in their diapers. Not only are they adjustable in the waist but also in the legs. So if you had a smaller baby you can adjust them so they don’t leak.

Another great feature are the prints and different colors. This had me sold because when you have a little girl, you want to dress her up in all the cutest things.
I had no idea how many diapers she would need but I estimated based on what I borrowed from my friend. I ordered 18 diapers and an extra set of inserts. Now I didn’t think I knew that the diapers came with 2 inserts in them but I could always use them if something happened to the other inserts.

Not only did I decide to not to use disposables but I also decided not to use wipes. Yes no wipes. Instead I purchased cloth wipes and have been using them instead.
Now, I’m as surprised as the next person that I am using cloth diapers. Why would I want to add an extra step to my life every day? But when I go back and analyze my decision, I’m not doing any more steps than what I was already doing.

People often ask about the smell or care of these diapers:

The care is very simple. I take the diaper off Jillian, I put them in a bucket in the bathroom and then to the washing machine at night. It isn’t until now that she is eating solids do I have to take an extra step for poopy diapers. When I have a very soiled diaper, I rinse it out in the toilet to dislodge the poo. Then I put them in the bucket with the others to be washed.

Yes it does smell sometimes and I just put the lid on top. Some people have a bag they use as well.

I take really good care of the diapers as I want them to last as long I need them and hopefully pass them on down the family line.

I wash them in hot water with 7th generation soap. I put them on a 2nd rinse cycle. I dry the inserts in the dryer and line dry the diapers (when its warm outside, I dry them both on a clothes line). This process takes me 2 minutes from start to finish (of course the wash cycle takes longer).

There have been a few snags with this new diaper from Fuzzi Bunz. The permeable lining inside the diaper has come off a few of them. I’m guessing this is some flaw that they have and I’ve had to send a few back. I’ve gotten replacements with no hassles.

I really love these diapers and would recommend them to anyone who is interested and aren’t the “type” to do cloth diapers. They certainly are very easy to do and care for as well as they will cost you less in the long run.

Some say that this is the lazy way to do cloth diapers. I say that it’s the new wave to using cloth diapers compared to what our parents/grandparents did for us.
I wash them and hang them up to dry just like my past relatives. So, call me lazy because my baby is a Fuzzi Bunz gal. And I wouldn’t want to do it any other way.

Jillian's 1st Year

I still can’t believe that you are 1 today. I remember a year ago waking up at 2am and my water breaking. In exactly 2 hours at 4am, you were born into your daddy’s arms. It was so peaceful and wonderful (I can’t wait to tell you when you get older). Your brother’s woke up at their usual 7am and your dad was holding you on the bed. He announced that you had arrived and they couldn’t believe there was another person in our house. They instantly fell in love with you as easily as we had. You were so quiet and sweet.

I had phoned a dear friend of ours, Marcie Alexander, to come over and help take care of your brother’s. Since we were up all night having you, your dad and I were tired. We didn’t have all that energy to take care of your brother’s. So she came over while we rested for a bit. Then it was time for her to go and I got up. She was the 1st person to hold you beside your father and I. She couldn’t believe it. Here you were so tiny.

It was a cold rainy day when you were born. I remember that because Marcie took the boys outside to feed the meter in the cold/rain.

I was so thrilled awaiting your arrival. I didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl. You seemed so high up in my belly and actually felt like you were up in my rib cage. In fact after I had you, it was hard for me to breath. We wanted you to be a surprise and what a wonderful surprise you were.

Immediately you had a personality much like your brother Braedon. You were generally very easy to meet your needs. You had a schedule and we tried hard to stick to it while managing your brothers. You adapted very well.

In this first year you have gained weight,smiled, laughed, sat up, rolled over, acquired 6 teeth, are standing up, pointing, babbling, and well on your way to walking. You are in 12-18 month clothes and I imagine soon that it will be 18-24 month. Your smile and laugh are very infectious.

You play games with us and your brother’s. You play the shy game when someone talks to you. You shy your head away or sometimes you just put your head down. You also like to play catch me. You crawl down the hallway and when we call after you, you crawl faster and giggle. When your brother’s are jumping on the bed, you love to jump along with them. You love pillows. You smother your face in them, jump/crawl on top and giggle. You love rolling around and crawling around in bed.

Your love for books is infectious. You love to look at books but mostly the letters. You point to things and start talking. Sometimes you squench up your nose and laugh at things. We can’t help laughing along with you. You are a very curious gal and like to see how things work. For example, you love to move doors back and forth.

You are a lovely and sweet addition to our family. Your brother’s are enjoying helping to take care of you and playing with you. They love to help you explore new things and help you learn as you are going along. They really look out for you and make sure you aren’t in any danger.

Thank you for being such a ray of light in our lives. We aren’t sure how we every got along without you but we sure can’t wait to see what you do throughout your years.

We love you tremendously our sweet baby Jillian.

The reminders of the firsts and the memories of the lasts…

When Jillian was having her difficulties last week and stopped nursing, I started to ask if this was it? Was she going to wean herself? Luckily, it was just a small issue but it got me thinking about all the lasts from my children. Now as I was thinking this I happened to came across my friend Hilary’s blog where she talked about this same issue. Again, I’m going take a bit of what she had done.

I am going to the miss all of your lasts:

To Braedon:
The last time…
-we played bouncy ball, bouncy ball, bouncy ball for…Braedon but you couldn’t say your name and would same ummmmm.
-you rolled over to get something and rolled up in your blanket. You looked like a crescent roll.
-you fell asleep in your high chair when I was feeding you.
-when you rubbed your eyes and got that sleepy look on your face. We knew it was time for bed.
-holding you and rocking you while you were drinking your milk. I would sing and sing to you until you fell asleep. This lasted until you were 2.
-you sat in your baby car seat and then your toddler car seat. You are now in a booster seat.

To Sebastian:
The last time…
-you nursed. You poor thing you were 2 years and I decided it was enough. You cried and cried and cried. I held you until you would go to sleep. You still need to be held once and a while.
-last time I carried you in the bjorn. You were getting too independent.
-you tried to sit up on your own. You started sitting up at 4 months but not by yourself until you were 10 months.
-you chewed on your multicolored teething ring.
-you swung in your baby swing. You were trying to sit up way to early and I didn’t feel safe putting you in it any more.
-holding and rocking you. I know you still remember it because you ask me to rock you occasionally.
-your last time in the baby car seat and now into your toddler car seat. You’re not that tall so you might be in this one for a while.

To Jillian…
You are still accomplishing a lot of your 1st right now. Thankfully you haven’t stopped nursing. Truthfully, I’m not sure when that will end but hopefully when its right for the both of us. Right now just remain our sweet little girl for a bit longer.

Although I will miss all of their lasts and I’m delighted that we are moving on to a lot of 1sts. Each day goes by so quickly that soon you won’t be my little ones and you’ll be off having ones of your own. Hopefully you can look back on what I’ve written to get a sense of what I felt like to be your mom. It is really an honor.

Thank you.

Musical beds

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew in my head that I must set up a nursery. I needed to get the crib, diaper changing table, bedding, sheets, and dresser. We ended up moving 1 month prior to my due date and well I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do. A dear friend of mine got us a pack n’ play as a baby gift. We decided to use that as our bassinet in our room until we felt comfortable putting our little one in another room.

He was in our room for about a month or so when I really started searching for a crib. I found a used one on craigslist that came along with a diaper changing table. The woman who sold it to me had 2 kids and she bought it from a family who had 3 kids. In some way I felt it was a hand-me-down crib that had lasted so long and was as some would say “vintage”.

But did he sleep in it right away? No. After he became too heavy for the bassinet part of the pack n’ play, he began to co-sleep with us. He would go into the crib during naps but at night he would be right by me. It wasn’t until he was weaned did he begin to sleep in his crib on his own. Then at 3, we felt he was too big for the crib and we put a mattress on the floor for him to sleep in his first big boy bed. It went very well.

Now of course I fail to mention that baby #2 was already here and well we needed the crib for him. Just like baby #1, he too slept in the pack n’ play but also alternated with the baby swing for night time sleeping. Sebastian was a tough baby at night. He had acid reflux and needed to be upright. Being in the swing accomplished 2 goals at once. It was a life saver for the longest time. Eventually, we needed the crib for him to take naps. Once again at night he was snuggled up with me until he was weaned. I weaned him at 2 years old. But unfortunately, he didn’t get out of my bed and well then his big brother moved back in as well.

You see their Dad works late at night and it was just easier to put them in my bed and well sometimes go to sleep with them. We had a routine, bath, book, brush, and bed. They got used to the routine and well I liked them in there for a while. There were times where I needed them out because they were hogging the bed or covers. We tried to move them out to their room several times but when their Dad wasn’t home, well again it just became easier to snuggle up with them.
The night Jillian was born we were back to playing musical beds again. They wouldn’t be able to be in bed with me as she was completely co-sleeping with me. We made a fun sleep “in” their room with the futon mattress and their Dad slept in there room with them.

Ahh, Jillian and I were like Queens in our Queen size bed…..for about 8 months. Somehow, sometime, someway….the boys came back. I think it was after they received sleeping bags for their Christmas present. They wanted to camp out in “mommy’s room”. So they managed to once again come back and regain their territory but now on the floor.

I couldn’t sleep with Jillian in my bed any further as she wanted to nurse all night long. I felt now that she is getting more food via solids it was time to transition her into her own bed. Plus she was not only rolling over but pulling herself up. I feared for her safety and couldn’t sleep many nights.

So, I have regained my bed back and my husband is currently back in my bed. The boys are on the floor with their sleeping bags, sometimes. There are times when they start off in my bed and we move them to their respective spots on the floor.

I’m redoing their room. Reorganizing or decluttering as you could say. I’m also waiting for Jillian to sleep through the night more than 2 days in a row so she won’t wake them. Yes all 3 will be in one bedroom.

Truthfully, I can’t wait until Jillian is old enough to sleep with them as it will be cute to see them all snuggle up together.

We are going to get a new bed for the boys, not sure if it will be bunk beds or twin or what. I think it’s great they sleep together.

I love to snuggle together too on occasion. In fact I just put Braedon in my bed for a late night snuggle. I’m sure his Dad will remove him at some point, but in the mean time—I’m going to rekindle my memories of snuggling with him when he was an infant.

They are only going to want to snuggle up to mom for so long and then they will want to be on their own. So, snuggle away!

Birthday preparations

Well birthday preparations are underway for Jillian’s big day. I always seem to go overboard when it comes to their birthdays. I work so hard because I want my guests to enjoy every aspect of the party. I want it to be an experience for all ages. But I really like doing it for the kids.

This year Jillian is getting 2 parties. Yes, 2. I know she is only 1 but well since we live in the city and have city friends we need one here. I couldn’t ask my friends to drive down about 1 hour to come for a party. But we need one with all of the family because you only turn 1 once…

For our friends I decided to make it as low key as possible making chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting (colored of course in different girly colors with sprinkles) to accompany juice boxes. Sorry moms, I’m getting them all sugared up before dinner time. This little party will be held at our local park for those kids to run around and get their energy out.

Family on the other hand is a little different because we have a large age range from 13 on down. So I’d like to create games and prizes that may suit all of their needs. I’ve broken out some of my “how to” books to plan out some things. Luckily, my step-mom is helping with some of the preparation so that I’m not overloaded. Yet in Malissa fashion I will be making the salsa, guacamole, and of course cake from scratch. I don’t typically have “kid” food because I’ve found sometimes that kids like to eat what adults have too. So I’m planning on grilling some marinated chicken, Italian sausages with onions and green peppers, and some hot dogs. Of course we’ll have some fresh fruit and veggies.

Now the best part and probably unfortunate part: Games. You’ve got to keep the kids entertained right? Who has it in their budget to rent horses, clowns, magicians, or a bouncy castle? I remember the good old fashion birthday parties where you guessed how many M&M’s were in a jar, or you tried to put a clothes pin into a small jar, pin the tail on whatever, piñata, water balloon toss, or musical chairs. So, I’m going to bring back the good ole fun with some of these games to keep them entertained with the parents. I might even have one or two with them involved as well.

It’s just my personality where I like to have everything planned from the moment the guests arrive until the moment they leave. I like to make sure everyone has a good time.

So, get ready to party and celebrate my little girl turning one.

What Mother's Day means to me

Wow, I still can’t believe that I’m a mother. Yes I carried my kids, yes I gave birth to them but it is still all surreal to me. Even when my kids call me mom, I sometimes look around like who me? I wouldn’t be the mom I am today if it had not been for my own mother and step-mother.
Although, my mother would never win the June Cleaver award, she however did give me a strong foundation. I believe it was her love of music that gives me warm fuzzies even to this day when I hear certain songs. Christmas was always special because she would play the classic Christmas songs song by the greats. Also we would make all kinds of Christmas cookies and decorate them. She wasn’t the best cook in the world with her “out of the can or box” method but there were a few meals that were pretty decent. She could make the best bread to rival any baker. She always made us feel better when we were sick by buying us 7up for sore scratchy throats or chocolate pudding. Even when we had the chicken pox for the 2nd time, she knew just what to do to soothe us.

My step-mother picked up the things my mother lacked. A good home-cooked meal and even took us step by step to make it. Nothing was ever out of a box unless it was baking soda. She would take the time to listen to our problems and help us with solutions. She taught me how to properly clean. She would say, “A lick and promise won’t do.”

I take these tidbits of information and store them in my brain. I retrieve them when my kids get an ouchy, when they need someone to talk to, or when I think about what to make for dinner. The other day Braedon said to me, “Mom, you make the best rolls.” I was elated and thought wow, a four-year-old critic. I thought, will he be saying this when he gets older?

I carry on the traditions of Christmas and hope my kids will do the same. I already know they love the Christmas music because they ask to hear it when Christmas has long past. I try awfully hard to be the best mom I can given the circumstances of raising 3 kids under 4. I often say they need to take turns with mommy and that I’m only one person. It’s funny when I’m taking care of one and state it’s their turn. The others either accept it or they say no, it’s my turn.

I would like for them to remember the good times we’ve had when they help me in the kitchen either making rolls, dinner, or one of their birthday cakes. (Yes their birthday cakes….I really pride myself on making whatever cake their heart desires.) It may not always turn out exactly as they wanted but their imagination takes over what my lack of decorating skills can muster.

Too me, mother’s day is a day to remember the person who has taken care of you throughout your life. I only appreciate this more as now I’m experiencing things. I’d like to tell my kids that yes I changed your diapers, I have potty trained you, I have wiped your butts when you call from the bathroom stating, “wipe my butt” without a please, when you have a nightmare—I comfort you, I bathe and cloth you, I arrange for playdates with friends and family, I have taken you out to museums, parks, pools…you name it. (It’s cute that I’ve taught Braedon to say thanks at the littlest things. So the other day when he wanted his butt wiped, he said thanks mommy. I couldn’t help but smile.)

I know the list could go on and on….

I’m not saying nominate me for the best mom award…no by far. I just want them to know that I am doing the best for them I know how. I learn something new every day in this job field. Again, I’m still new here even with it being 4 years into this job. I don’t think you can call yourself a veteran until your child is out the door at age 18-20.

It’s nice to know that I’m still on probation and that I’m still learning. Hopefully, they’ll be patient with me and teach me things along the way. I certainly am learning the ins/outs of each one. As soon as I have one figured out, they change personalities or do something they’ve never done before.

So, I don’t need one day to know that I’m a Mother and I should be treated differently on that day. Heck if I were, I would think there was something wrong with my family.

Identity crisis

When I take off my clothes, there is no secret identity waiting to save the world. No superman, batman, or underdog. Just an internal scarlet letter M. MOMMY.

Who am I and what happened to my identity? When I was a little girl I knew exactly who I was the apple of my father’s eye, the youngest girl, and the big sister to my younger brother. During my teen years, life was about trying to fit in, school, and boys. My 20’s were about college, jobs, and adult boys. This was an exciting time for me. I was able to come and go as I wanted. Spend my money freely and do as I pleased. I guess you could say that I was free. I couldn’t imagine being married or having children. My sister’s were having kids and I saw how their lives were and I didn’t want their life. I was having a good time.

Finally, I meet the right boy. One who was grounded in life and began to tame my wild side. Luckily for me, he was the right one and I snatched him up quickly. Yes, quickly. We meet and were married within 9 months. Here was my first identity change going from single to married life. It was quite fun in the beginning to play the married couple and navigate life with a partner. It was strange however that my name had changed and then I began to change. I wasn’t carefree Malissa anymore. I had to be a little more responsible because now I was sharing my life with someone else. I liked being Mrs. Jones but felt weird when people called me by my married name. After all, I spent 22 years being Malissa Durkee.

We went on being “this couple” for 10 years before we decided to have kids. Why did we wait so long? Well, I really wasn’t responsible enough. I wasn’t only not mentally prepared but we weren’t financially either. (Looking back on our decision, we know we could have done it…just would have taken more sacrifice). So coming up with decision was a shock to me. I thought no way are we having kids and no way was I going to stay home and no way was I going to do ½ the things that I’ve done as a mom.

Alright, so I’ve become a Mom. When I was pregnant with Braedon it was all surreal to me. Yes I was getting bigger and yes there was evidence I was pregnant but I didn’t realize it. Even after he came home and I was taking care of him, it still didn’t register that my identity had changed. I felt like I was Malissa + 1. Then when I started to lose sleep, changed diapers, did more laundry and I was at home did I realize my title had changed.

Before this I was working a good job and although I knew I was going to quit to take care of my baby….I didn’t realize I was about to change. I immediately turned into the breastfeeding, co-sleeping, never let your child cry, never let your child touch anything dirty, always had to be changed on schedule, and that I had to take him everywhere I went. Yes, I became a baby wearing mama. It’s funny that I ordered a Bjorn and it came on the day he was born….how ironic is that? Since then, we’ve added 2 more kids to the Jones clan.

It’s a rarity that I’m without my children. Partially because I’m a worry-wart and don’t like them to be without me. (Again who best to cater to their every whim than MOM). Plus I’ve taken on the role as the stay-at-home mom and now their teacher. So, it is rare to see me without them. When I don’t have them as my shield, I feel naked as if my Mommy powers have been stripped. ‘You no longer have your kids and therefore you are vulnerable to your arch nemesis…the world.’ I feel lost without them but relieved to have some time to myself. Hence, my identity crisis. Am I Malissa or shall I change my official documents to Mom?

I get a big chuckle when my kids call me Malissa. I laugh at the thought that yes that is my name but I am glad when you call me Mom.