Time is ticking away

I am saddened at the loss of my Aunt Sylvia who passed away this past Easter. I am reminded that I am getting older and that I have young kids. We waited to have kids because we thought we needed to have money and other things in place before we had them. Looking back, we wished we had kids much earlier in life. We are afraid that we will not be able to see our kids have kids. But I will be positive. During the eulogy of my Aunt today, it was refreshing to hear her kids memories of their mother.

Of course this is something I worry about day to day. Am I being the best mom I could possibly be? Do I do enough for them to have warm and fuzzy feelings when it was my time to go? One of the things my cousins mentioned about her mom was that when her kids were sick, she would give them a box of crayons and a coloring book. She would insist on coloring one page of her choice. I could not wait to get home and color with Jillian. Jillian is not much of a coloring kid. She likes to scribble right now and I am trying to show her to stay on the lines. I really do not care how she colors, for me is it about her exploring, using a writing utensil, and colors.

Ok, so I homeschool my kids and I am hoping this gives me points for being a good mom. I mention this to them all the time. If they do not like what I am teaching them, then they can go to school and experiencing what school is really like.

I try and cook or bake something that they will remember from their childhood. I bake them a cake for their birthday in whatever theme they wish. I make my bunny cake for Easter and christmas cookies. I just try and make every holiday special.

Another thing that was mentioned was they loved when their mother took them to the library. Well when I take my kids, they just run around. I do try and read to them once a day. I buy tins of books and try to instill my love of reading to them. I do not think my boys will follow in my footsteps, but at least they do like some of my stories.

All I can do right now is continue doing these things and hope that my kids will see that their Dad and I have provided them with the best childhood we could manage. We know we are not perfect and the kids will see our flaws. We hope they will love us despite of them.

I am also writing this blog to give them a glimpse of their lives as we are living them.

We love you so much and can not express that enough!!!