Time is ticking away

I am saddened at the loss of my Aunt Sylvia who passed away this past Easter. I am reminded that I am getting older and that I have young kids. We waited to have kids because we thought we needed to have money and other things in place before we had them. Looking back, we wished we had kids much earlier in life. We are afraid that we will not be able to see our kids have kids. But I will be positive. During the eulogy of my Aunt today, it was refreshing to hear her kids memories of their mother.

Of course this is something I worry about day to day. Am I being the best mom I could possibly be? Do I do enough for them to have warm and fuzzy feelings when it was my time to go? One of the things my cousins mentioned about her mom was that when her kids were sick, she would give them a box of crayons and a coloring book. She would insist on coloring one page of her choice. I could not wait to get home and color with Jillian. Jillian is not much of a coloring kid. She likes to scribble right now and I am trying to show her to stay on the lines. I really do not care how she colors, for me is it about her exploring, using a writing utensil, and colors.

Ok, so I homeschool my kids and I am hoping this gives me points for being a good mom. I mention this to them all the time. If they do not like what I am teaching them, then they can go to school and experiencing what school is really like.

I try and cook or bake something that they will remember from their childhood. I bake them a cake for their birthday in whatever theme they wish. I make my bunny cake for Easter and christmas cookies. I just try and make every holiday special.

Another thing that was mentioned was they loved when their mother took them to the library. Well when I take my kids, they just run around. I do try and read to them once a day. I buy tins of books and try to instill my love of reading to them. I do not think my boys will follow in my footsteps, but at least they do like some of my stories.

All I can do right now is continue doing these things and hope that my kids will see that their Dad and I have provided them with the best childhood we could manage. We know we are not perfect and the kids will see our flaws. We hope they will love us despite of them.

I am also writing this blog to give them a glimpse of their lives as we are living them.

We love you so much and can not express that enough!!!

A wise word

To my kids:

I write this letter after learning of a disturbing court case involving young boys assaulting a young girl. The ages of these involved were 15-17 year olds. The young lady in question was taken to several parties and was drinking alcohol. This of course impaired her judgment and she became unconscious. Along her journey several boys sexually assaulted her, took pictures, posted messages on social media, and took videos. The young lady woke up the following morning and was informed of her situation via messages from friends and foes. Eventually charges were brought against two of the boys and they were found guilty. Although the other boys gained immunity in the case, their lives are not without trouble. 

Some of them have been kicked out of college and scholarship removed. All those involved will suffer for the rest of their lives. This case was in Ohio in the year 2012-2013.

I am writing this letter to my children for many different reasons.

It is not ok to ever touch someone sexually when they are unconscious. They can not give consent.

First: If you ever happen to be in a situation where you are pressured by other around you to do anything….DO NOT DO IT.  Please call us, family, other friends, police, or anyone who can get you out of your situation. Or just walk away.

Second: If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are being a victim, please say something. Try to get out of the situation. Call someone.

Thirdly: if you are a witness to anything happening that you think is not acceptable. Tell someone. Do not participate, do not videotape, do not write anything about it, and most importantly help. Anyone of these acts is a punishable crime. If you see something—say something.

I write this to you because it reminds me of a potentially devastating event that happened to me when I was 14. I was a freshmen in highschool and I really liked this boy who was one year older than I was. I called him one evening and found he was with a group of boys partying. I let him know I was home by myself and his friend gave him my address. About 30 minutes later I had about 6  boys at my door. We had a screen door and the main door. They pushed their way into the house. We lived in a split level which means when you enter you either go upstairs or down. They split up and half went up and half of them went down. I went up to follow the guy that I liked. I was cornered in my room by this guy and his friend. They wanted to have sex with me and were pressuring me. They were drunk and kept pulling my arm and trying to coax me. I said no many times and then I screamed NO and ran from the room. More events happened that evening, but I was very lucky. My sister arrived home just in time because I do not know what would have happened if she didn’t.

I blame myself for putting myself in this situation and of course the boys also should take some of the blame as well.

I write this to my kids as a warning of what could potentially happen when you are with a crowd of friends and their influence on you. I caution my kids to use their judgment wisely.

I love you very much and want the best for you. 

Your mom

Wish for 2013

My hopes and dreams for the year 2013

We have been living in our place at University of Chicago since September of 2006. I thought we were only going to live here for one year and then move to the suburbs. If you read the first sentence you know the second sentence didn’t happen. I admit that it has been nice for my husband to walk to work. Our little community has a lot of amenities. If I don’t like what is happening here, I can just drive about 20 minutes up Lake Shore Drive and I have the city at my calling. We can even take the train and go into the heart of the city and not pay for parking.

So why would we want to leave all of this? Well we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 kids. Currently they are sleeping together in one bed but the older one keeps growing. Soon he will no longer fit in the bed as we have them situated. If we were to add another bed into their room, there would not be enough space. We have 2 dressers and of course some toys. They only way next is to go up, but I don’t know how that will be received. We do have a great outdoor space but I feel as we live in a bubble or fishbowl. There are three other taller buildings that surround us and we are constantly being watched. It is a great space for the area we live and it is ours. It would be nice to have more space. But more space will come at a price.

If we move out to the suburbs, then my husband will have to commute and that will take a drain from our family. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to gain something in return. We will of course get more space, more bedrooms, a yard, and possibly a pet. Yes, we do have a cat now but we can not get a dog—which the kids are really asking.

Yes I will miss all of the amenities Hyde Park has to offer, but one thing we won’t miss is lack of security. It is a shame that our neighborhood is one that is preyed upon. Numerous thefts, violent acts, and who knows what else. You can not walk out of your house and talk on your cell phone or listen to music. Sure they have amp up their police force and have a “safety” person on some corners, but crime still happens.

Will it be safer in the burbs? Who knows but I have lived in the burbs of Chicago all my life and I have really never encountered anything.

So why talk about this now? My husband may be up for tenure this year. Yup, finally right? Well I say maybe because he doesn’t have much funding and well his committee members said that was one thing he needed. He is applied for a few grants and will know by the end of January. If he does not have funding it is possible that they will postpone putting him up for one more year. I don’t know if I can stand to be here for one more year, but we shall see. Even if he goes up , he won’t know his fate until the middle of December.

We look forward to pursing our tenure goal and hope everything goes our way. Goodness knows that my husband certainly has worked so hard for it and really deserves a break. 

Christmas 2012

My mom made Christmas a special time for us and it was always my favorite holiday of the year. I am hoping to pass this tradition down to my children.

I try to put up the Christmas tree around Thanksgiving weekend and leave it up until New Years. The best part is putting up the decorations, ornaments, and lights. This year I was pleasantly surprised that the kids wanted to help and they did a great job putting the “unbreakable” ones where ever they could reach it. I of course put the valuable and breakable ones higher on the tree. Of course I turn on the Christmas music while doing this task to get us in the spirit.

Here is a list of things we did this year to make things special:

-Winter Wonderland-a very magical place of Christmas land at Navy Pier in Chicago, which has blow up slides, ferris wheel, tilt-a-whirl and other rides. We go ever year and the kids love it. I can’t wait until they are old enough to ice skating.

-Baking-we make treats for Daddy’s employees at lab. The kids had a good time making sugar cookies and decorating them. We also made pumpkin bread and chocolate chip cookies. As the kids get older, I am willing to make more as long as they help.

-Books-I read special Christmas books like how do snowmen celebrate Christmas and the little drummer boy.  Of course Twas the night before Christmas.

-Christmas lights outside-this year I surprised the kids and decorated the trees outside. It was a special treat for them.  Of course we drive around the neighborhood by my parents for them to see the lights on the houses.

-Ornaments-my aunt bestowed a ornament to me each year until I was about 18. I am doing the same for my kids and purchasing them an ornament each year.

-Spending Christmas eve at the grandparents-this year we were home and did not go to Indiana. We had the kids open their presents earlier and a little each day. I didn’t want them to get overwhelmed with a bunch of gifts at one time. I wanted to give them the chance to play with their toys a little each day. I planned for the kids to have a great time with their cousins and grandparents. We baked cookies, did some crafts, played with the dogs, and just hung out. The kids woke up to presents from Santa and Grandma’s sticky buns. We then proceeded to make Christmas dinner with tons of food. Grandma and Grandapa along with Aunt Teri surprised us by making homemade ravoli’s with grandma Barber’s sauce. It was very delicious. Aunt Teri also got some desserts from an Italian bakery. The cookies were the best.

Unfortunately, we did not have a white Christmas. It did snow just before but there was a light dusting and it didn’t stay.

What did the kids get this year? We try hard to incorporate learning materials as well as fun toys. It is no fun for a child not to get any toys.

Braedon-he wished so much to get a crystal lego sweeper but Lego stopped making them. Of course they are out on the market but were $300. Instead he got: glow-in the dark truck, remote controlled truck, lock box to hold his secret pirate storage chest, crystal growing kit (which he loves and crystals are very hot topic), the first set of sugar creek gang books, connect four game, and gross science kit. Also, the transam hallmark ornament.

Sebastian-It is hard getting him gifts because his birthday is the 1^st of the month. He asked for the power miners lego lava traz and of course it was reasonable so we got that for him. He got a remote control dinosaur that Jillian broke less then 1 hour since it was open. It is no longer useful . He also got sequence game, Billy & blaze books, my little ponies, and a maze ball.

Jillian-She ended up getting clothes. A bunch of dress up princess dresses and shoes. Her cousins gave up some of their Barbies and a Barbie Train. Jane Eyre and other books, and of course some hello kitty items. She got a jacket, dress, and a wallet.

I write this as a momento to for my children when they ask me what did they get or how did we celebrate. As I get older I am sure my memory will fade and possibly one day I won’t be around to tell them about their childhood.

We try hard to make memories and give our kids a childhood to remember. For a happy child will be a happy adult.

Love you always,

Your mother

Art

I have added art to our curriculum. I purchase a book called:Teach art to kids. I thought it would be a good way to get them to do interesting things and techniques real artist incorporate in their design.

Today's assignment was to do demonstrate lines. The book suggested they draw lines, but the kids do not really like drawing..just yet. :) I am trying to get them interested in art, shapes, and drawing by making it fun.

So I had some strips cut out and I explained the direction the strips needed to go. Of course some need to be placed diagonal, horizontal, and vertical. They had fun with the glue and I did by best by not allowing it to go all over the place.

Here is what they came up with:

The yellow one is Jillian's, the red one is Sebastian, and the blue one is Braedon's. I just love how each one is different and shows a bit of their personalities.

Sebastian turns 6

Dear Sebastian,

My little man is 6!! I still can’t believe that my 4 pound little bundle has turned into the most sweetest and wonderful little man. You are definitely a force to reckon with each day. You challenge us with your curiosity and your spirit.

You love, love, love video games just like your father. Your favorites are minecraft, grand theft auto, starcraft, and generals. You love guns and anything to do with army. Your dad bought you and your siblings a be-bee gun. You love to go shooting with your father at grandma/grandpa Durkee’s house in Frankfort.

You still give us a hard time pretty much everyday. You have always had to have things your way and if you don’t, you make things tough for us. You repeat a word over and over until you get what you want. For example, chocolate milk….you’ll say it over and over and over….etc. When you don’t get your way you begin to whine and cry. Sometimes you just outright wail. There are times when you need to eat and your blood sugar is out of whack.

We had your birthday party at a place called pump it up. It is an inflatable slide place. You had a ton of people who came and most of them were from our homeschooling coop.You asked for a ninjago lego cake for your birthday.

Gifts: ninjago legos, Lincoln logs, money, gift certificates, my little ponies, army stuff, knights, power miner legos, starwars legos, rumbler, windmill and gift certificates.

You don’t have any real favorite foods but you like some fruits, love chocolate, and anything sweet. You like sushi, fish, and chicken nuggets.

There are times when you are the sweetest and most thoughtful child. You can be very loving at times and my little cuddle bear.

You have such great determination when you want something that if you use this to your advantage you will go far.

We love you so much and want only the best for you.

Happy 6^th birthday.

Love, Mom and Dad

Grandfather's Clock

As I sit here on a warm crisp fall night, I hear a clock chime 7 o’clock. This clock actually happens to be my grandfather’s clock. It is a Herman Miller clock given to him for his retirement from the railroad. The Durkee men were known to have immaculate degeneration, a disease that would affect their eyesight. There was a time in my life where I would visit my grandfather on a weekly bases as he lived in Schereville, IN. I would do odd jobs for him and he would take me to lunch. I really only wanted to try and keep him company. He eventually moved closer to my father in Mokena, IL. There was a time when Rich and came home to visit during the holidays. Grandpa was upset because he couldn’t hear his clock and wanted to get a new one. 

We took him all around to search for one he would like and then we haggled with the owner over the price. Well it wasn’t long and Grandpa did not like the new clock. I Unfortunately, he was unable to sit up or move around. The infection finally took over and he passed away.

He was 92 when he died.

When I was little, I remember playing with this wind up clock that was red and had a school house theme. There was a song that played along with it and it wasn’t until recently that I found out.

It is: My Grandfather’s Clock

My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor;
It was taller by half than the old man himself,
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born,
And was always his treasure and pride;
But it stopp'd short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
CHORUS:
Ninety years without slumbering
(tick, tick, tick, tick),
His life seconds numbering,
(tick, tick, tick, tick),
It stopp'd short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
In watching its pendulum swing to and fro,
Many hours had he spent while a boy;
And in childhood and manhood the clock seemed to know
And to share both his grief and his joy.
For it struck twenty-four when he entered at the door,
With a blooming and beautiful bride;
But it stopped short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
CHORUS
My grandfather said that of those he could hire,
Not a servant so faithful he found;
For it wasted no time, and had but one desire —
At the close of each week to be wound.
And it kept in its place — not a frown upon its face,
And its hands never hung by its side.
But it stopp'd short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
CHORUS

It rang an alarm in the dead of the night —
An alarm that for years had been dumb;
And we knew that his spirit was pluming for flight —
That his hour of departure had come.
Still the clock kept the time, with a soft and muffled chime,
As we silently stood by his side;
But it stopp'd short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
CHORUS

Although Grandpa’s clock is one that can sit on the shelf, the song still holds true. Some might say that my Grandpa was a grouchy and grumpy old man. I saw a different side of him. If you just take the time to get to know someone, you might be surprised.

He was a great man and provided well for his family. He was a loving Grandfather as one could be. He loved baseball, music, and boots.

So as the clock struck this evening, I smile a bit because I know that is him chiming in to say hi.